Monday, January 7, 2008

Southern Region Semi-finals Romney V Paul

Ok, I have 2 potential matches for you, Mr. Redstate...

Matchmaker: He's poorly funded
Redstate: OK

Matchmaker: He's old
Redstate: uh-huh

Matchmaker: He's from Texas
Redstate: oh, OK, that could be good

Matchmaker: He's for limited government
Redstate: right

Matchmaker: He thinks we should go back to the gold standard
Redstate: Now I'm worried

Matchmaker: He's against the war in Iraq
Redstate: You thought this guy would be a match for me?

Matchmaker: He's very popular with bloggers
Redstate: Seriously, who else do you have?

Matchmaker: Ah yes, Player #2. He's rich
Redstate: I'm listening

Matchmaker: Super-rich and he's from the north east
Redstate: keep talking

Matchmaker: He uses a lot of hair gel and has an unnaturally white smile. He makes Ken, of Ken and Barbie, look like Chewbacca
Redstate: oooooooooo, that feels good.

Matchmaker: He's a former governor of a blue state
Redstate: Oh yea; OH YEA!

Matchmaker: He's active in his church
Redstate: Right there, don't stop - I'm almost ready!!!!!

Matchmaker: He make monogomous, missionary-only love to his wife
Redstate: Could it be?

Matchmaker: He's Mormon
Redstate: F*&^%$& Man! Why would you say that just when I was about to caucus? F*&^%$& seriously, couldn't you have waited until afterward to mention that?

Redstate: Who else do you have...?



Final: Romney's personal fortune keeps him around for at least 1 more round.

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